A Hazard to Myself

Moving On..

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 17:23:06 GMT

Well...Kell had her adorable baby (as all of you probably read on her journal). And all I can say about her is that she is a little Lumpkin and I love when she smiles =)!! And Joey's lil Jakob is such a little man already! Babies are cute. I don't get to see them all that much right now. But I know when school gets out I'll be all about em!!

Tons to do, midterms coming up and lots of projects/tests/quizzes to be done. AND I'm moving out tomorrow! SO yaaa...I'm a lil stressed...but it's good stress this time because all that engergy will go into packing, moving and gettin my school stuff done. I'm just really excited about the comfortable bed I'm going to finally have!!

Woo Hoo!

WOWZAS 11-1-05

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 03:24:05 GMT

Soooooo....Lots going on as usual. My brother had his sweet precious baby! Jakob Daniel Konz =) Born on June 15, 2005. So he's almost FIVE months already. Kelly is due in two months. Planning the baby shower and juggling work, school and everything else has become pretty hectic. I know people think it's really weird that she is going to name the little girl Elizabeth (but we are calling her Lizzy)....but I think it's especially sweet. I mean, no one ever thinks it's weird to name a little boy after the father?!?!

This past weekend was fun. The Halloween parties we went to were awesome. I realized that I just really like to dance. I don't even care if I'm by myself. I just like to dance. And that I really miss playing Flippy Cup. That is a fun game and very hard to concentrate!!

I can't wait till Christmas. It's my most favorite holiday. It's just really .....great =) The lights, decorations, snow, MUSIC!, and just everyone's attitudes. I can't wait..

Visiting the Fam! 5-29-05

Mon, 30 May 2005 01:12:16 GMT

I just came back from visiting my cousins in Illinois and it was soooo fun. I love my cousins so much and I miss em already. I actually had stuff to do all day unlike the last couple weeks where I had nothing at all to do. You'd think I would would want to do nothing and just be lazy, but that's boring. I mean ya, I do that sometimes, but it just gets boring real fast. When I got home my dad had surprised me with back patio furniture!! Woo hoo talk about exciting. We tried the furniture out when he grilled hamburgers mmmm..=)

Nikki is due ANYDAY now!! She already is having a couple "scares". I'm just glad she didn't have it while I was away, I would've had to kill her!!!! hahaha jk. I would've just made someone hold up the phone in the delivery room ha.

K, just thought I'd update...oh ya INDY PARKS CAN EAT MY ASS!!!

another day 4-21-05

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 03:23:55 GMT

So school is about to end and I'm soooooo glad. I can't wait till I don't have to worry about stupid papers. I am excited about Ricky's birthday party this weekend. He's such a cutie. I'm so excited about the baby shower in May and I'm so excited about the baby coming in June. I'm glad I am excited cause I was feeling down lately. I don't like school...it just makes people irrited and angry. I like fun things. Liek summer and FROGS (if you could tell) and LILACS...mmmm I love lilacs...and Babies, and doggies...and rain and the smell of grass cut and jsut everything that makes you happy and relaxed. I dont know...i LOVE SUMMER and VACATIONS...ok im going ...buh bye....see you...adios..now im just being stupid...k bye

I'm sorry....my gangsta name is the best! 3-1-05

Tue, 01 Mar 2005 20:45:55 GMT

Your Inner Gangsta by crash_and_burn

What is yo name?

Yo gangsta name be

Steve

You ride around in a

2003 Land Rover Defender

Yo gang

The Yakuza

Yo shoes be

Fuzzy slippers

Yo dubs be dis big, fool

2,518

How much money you got?

$4.88812140685494e+26

How gangsta are you, bitch?: 91%

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 05:52:30 GMT

I know all you skeptics out there hate this day. Hate that this day was made up just to help out the businesses of flowers, cards, candy, jewelry, etc. Well you know what? So what! So what if it was made up? Does that change it? No. It's still Valentine's Day and it's going to be here forever.

I love this day. This entry about Valentine's day just inspired me from LoLo's entry when she was talking about hating this day because it reminds her of not being with someone or whatever. I don't even look at this day as a day for couples at all. I never really have (except for when I see/hear those stupid commercials about how you GUYS need to get the girls jewelry because that's all they want--which is complete bull shit. I don't really like jewelry all that much. And I can tell you now, I HATE gold). I have always looked at this day as the day to tell everyone that you in fact love them. We don't say it that often. I'm talking about our family, our friends, our old friends and anyone that has meant something to us. It's just such a great day. People actually being nice to each other and appreciating one another. I don't know what's wrong with those people that hate it because it's made up--I would love to meet the person that made it up because they must have the biggest heart (or for you skeptics-the biggest wallet now!).

There's nothing else to say except, tell everyone that you appreciate them today! This day is designated for that!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

WOWZA!

Sun, 13 Feb 2005 04:59:47 GMT

I can't even remember the last time I updated. Not that I'm too good, but partly because you probably don't care what I have to say and partly because I really don't have anything good to say!

My lease is up on March 10th and I don't have any money, so I am moving back home. I'm going to live at my dad's house, though, not my mom's. I would explain why, but you guys probably don't care. I just want a chance to get some money saved up. I don't like the feeling of not being able to buy stuff I need--like toothpaste or toilet paper (eewwww!).

I have been thinking a lot about moving to Illinois lately (my uncle and aunt live there). I just need to get away and experience things on my own. I haven't really experienced life by myself. There has only been one instance and that was for a week and a half in France. It was the best experience I've ever had. I really haven't thought the whole Illinois idea out or anything, I've just wondered what it would be like to go to a school away from home. Just an idea.

The last couple days I've kind of taken a step back from reality (except for one instance). I've just been noticing how people act and what people have to talk about including myself. It's as if everyone wants to talk about "Jen and Brad" or "so and so at work/home." Now, I'm not saying I don't talk about this stuff because to me, the whole Jen and Brad thing was VERY devastating =). But how come we don't talk about our own lives? How come we don't talk about our own ideas or our own take on anything?

I just read Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom. It's a really good book. In it they talk about their take on life, death, romance, sadness, everything. Why don't we talk about any of this stuff with each other? I would love to hear what other people say about it. I love to hear everyone's views on anything. What is it that makes us feel like those questions might be too personal to talk about? Isn't that really getting to know someone? To know how they feel about everything? Just wondering.

I really didn't mean to go on this way, I guess I'll be going. Maybe I'll update sooner sometime or another!

A lot to be thankful for

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 04:39:15 GMT

Today was a good day. I do have a lot to be thankful for. Today was the first day that I went through the whole day without thinking about school, money situation, or just about how I am unhappy (until now of course, but even now as I am thinking of it, I'm not getting sick to my stomach like I usually do). I am so thankful for my family. I had so much fun with them today. Not just today though, lately I have been talking to my bros and sis more and that makes me happy. I would like to have a close relationship with all of them. Because no matter what happens, I'll always have my family.

I helped out my mom getting stuff ready for lunch/dinner, I played with my cousins, and talked to my family. Today was a good day.

On a sad note, I have a friend who, in September, went to the hospital for kidney stones and he had to have surgery or whatever they do for kidney stones. While looking at his kidneys, they found something wrong with them. Something that had started when he was born, they had just never known because they never had to look at his kidneys before. They said if they had not found this, it wouldn't have been very much longer till this problem with his kidneys (infected or swollen)would have ended up killing him (by bursting or what not). So last Thursday he had surgery on his kidneys and everything was fine till this last Sunday and then he has the worst pains in his life. I dont know if any of you guys have had kidney stones but they are worse than pregnancy (I've heard from women that have had babies and kidney stones). So he was rushed to the hospital. He had blood clots from the surgery so he was losing a huge amount of blood. This is all during Thanksgiving.

What if he had never had kidney stones? They would never have found it. I bet he thought he would never be thankful to have kidney stones....

I just thought maybe, if any of you want to....you guys can pray for him. He could sure use it. thanks and I think I'm going to end on that.....HAPPY THANKSGIVING

WEIRD!

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 03:53:16 GMT

So today was a weird day. Just a lot of odd events. I got up to get ready for my first class (it's at 9 in the morning, so I leave my apt. at 8:30) and for some reason I thought I had till 9:30 to get ready and leave. So I'm ready at like 9:25 and I drive the speed limit and I try to make every red light and I stop and get gas--all just trying to take up time before my 9 o clock class. Well I don't know if you guys got that but I left my house at 9:25 and my class starts at 9! When I finally got to school, I looked at my clock and was like "9:49! That's not right!" I am an idiot.

Then I went to the mall to get some clothes on sale where my brother works for my new job at Nordstroms and I got to the mall and took out 40 dollars, only to find out that I had around 200 dollars less than what I thought I had. Where it went I don't have a clue because I haven't bought myself anything except for a purse that was 50% off (8 dollars) and some work out pants that were 50% off (7 dollars). So I got really depressed about that cause I have two payments to make in the next week and what I have doesn't cover it at all.

After that I stopped at my mom's house just to see if anyone was there and Nikki was there with her little boy Ricky (he's damn cute) and he was talkin on my cell phone like someone was really on the other line. And he put the phone up to Missy's (My sis' dog) ear (and butt!).

Then I came home and took Jack to Perry park. I attempted to take pictures of him in the woods because it was really pretty out, but everytime I went to get his attention, he started running at me, so I don't know if any of the pictures will turn out.

I had a three hour psychology class tonight. It was one of the most interesting classes I've ever been in. Talking about patients who compete with their parents in perverted ways (son will have sex infront of father because it makes him feel good that his dad is fat and ugly that he couldnt get a girl like that--a prostitute nonetheless). There were so many other stories that were so interesting though. It was one of the weirdest discussions and at the same time informative and intriguing. It makes me want to be a psychologist so much.

That was my weird day. I really felt writing tonight so sorry if it was long =(

Just One of Them Days

Mon, 04 Oct 2004 04:32:48 GMT

Well today turned out good. I thought I was going to sit at home all day and try to keep our illegal pet (Jack-our Beagle Mix) quiet and occupied. But I ended up going to church (which I'm so glad I did..it was really...inspiring I guess would be the right word?) with Lori and her family and Morgan. After that I stopped by my mommy's house to talk and that was informative as usual. Then I took Jack over to my friend Keith's house and we took him on two walks (during half time and after the Colts game of course). Then we went to Olive Garden. That was sooooo good. Then we came home and rented movies with Lori and Morgan and both of them were hilarious. I would really recommend Slackers. "I did have a nickname for you, but I'm not going to tell you..........All right, it was Laser!"

It was a fun day. Having Jack has made me so happy. For some reason I don't feel as alone anymore. Like he puts purpose in my life....when he really doesn't. I'm not saying Jack is my purpose in life, but he makes me feel like I have something that needs me. I love him so much! I recommend getting a puppy to anyone!

Another boring day

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 22:53:22 GMT

Today was ok.

I went to school, worked on a project, did some errands and then came here to work. I had to teach these highschool basketball players water aerobics. I felt so stupid telling them what a rocking horse was and what a frog jump was. It ended up being ok because they all seemed like they were liking it. I also felt like it wasn't going to be a good enough work out for them considering they work out all the time probably, but the coaches reassured me that they would work muscles that they never worked before! I laughed at the thought of me being able to do these exercises while these athletic basketball players couldn't.

Anyway, so I'm glad that the water aerobics lady didn't come today, cause I already had my class for the day! My back is starting to hurt AND all I've had today was a grilled cheese sandwich. The girls here went to Taco Bell and didn't ask me if I wanted anything and I was starving. OH! But they did bring me a water and said "You looked like you needed it!" I needed a nacho bell grande bitch! That's what I needed...hahaha ..anyway...my stomach is eating itself and I need to go put in the lane lines....

LORI'S BIRTHDAY

Fri, 17 Sep 2004 19:50:02 GMT

Ok, so today I am having an unusually good day. I haven't really been having good days lately, but today is good. Has anyone else not been having good days? Has anyone else been having a good day? What are good days? They are better than bad, and worse than perfect, but just...good. I like em. It's the good day that lets you know, everything is going to be all right. Good days are good......and I'll leave you with that thought.....haha

p.s. Happy birthday!!! Lori I hope you liked your decorations!

Lonely night

Fri, 17 Sep 2004 05:43:25 GMT

Here are some confusing things I've been thinking about. I haven't been thinking about them lately, I just have before.

I think of things like how I could die at any moment. Not in a depressive way, just that I could be gone at any second and that I need to "seize the day." I try to take chances...chances on life in general. So sometimes people see my forwardness or aggressiveness or urgency as a bad thing. They probably think I'm being obsessive or desperate or something. But that's because I'm in a different mind set than they are.

Anyway, Lori's birthday is tomorrow. For anyone taht doesn't know that is marysunshine! She is going to be 20. We are going to have a party for her so if anyone would like to join call her cell phone or comment. It'll be awesome! Ok I'm done

Sunny days

Sat, 11 Sep 2004 18:23:26 GMT

I'm really excited for tonight because I'm going to Purdue. This is the first time that I've been able to go to another college to visit friends. I mean I went to visit my brother when he was in college, but you know..that's different then actually seeing people your age.

I got a call from Nordstroms yesterday asking if I would come in for an interview, but I'm scared because the only job I've interviewed for was my Indy Parks one, and that was like two years ago. I haven't had to have an interview since. And it's Nordstroms...they are fancy. I don't what I wear to an interview and I certainly don't know what to say. They ask the same questions "why would you be an asset to Nordstroms" "what skills do you have" "what values will you bring" Those are all the same to me. If anyone has any tips on what people wear and what the difference between those three questions are please let me know.

I really hope Bath and Body Works calls. I would really like to work there. Ok I got to go cash my pathetic check and save my cell phone and then get ready for tonight.

Tue, 07 Sep 2004 04:17:03 GMT

So today's Labor day was a good day for me how bout u? I laid out, ate some lunch watched a movie ate some dinner, went driving around town...that was the best part. I got to learn downtown better. East, west, north and south. I'm good at it now. Anyway, then I come home to finally having the internet at my home. If anyone wants my new screen name, leave me a message please! Even if you don't, leave me a message please..

Fri, 03 Sep 2004 15:11:52 GMT

Ok so I'm at school right now, probably should be working on this statistics thing, but its so damn hard I can't even start. The guy next to me was probably thinking "Have to remind myself not to sit next to this girl again. She asks too many damn questions." I didn't get anything the teacher was saying. I guess it didn't help when he's from some foreign land and when he speaks I can't understand a word he's saying. Seriously, his name is Nadjib Bouzar! Can you blame me?

Anyway, I'm getting really depressed lately about my money situation. Not the depressed mood where I'm going to like kill myself or anything at all. The depressed mood where I just keep myself up at night thinking back and forth about what I'm going to do. Now I have a little glimpse of what other people have had to go through. I don't know how people do it.

I want to start working out. I take a wellness and fitness class and for homework we had to check the statements that pertained to us and our lifestyle. I found out (right before I added some more checks so I wouldn't be in that category) that I have an unhealthy lifestyle. It's not like all I do is gorge myself in anything I can get my hands on and never move from one spot all the time, but I mean, it's not far from it.

Wow that was a lot. Ok I'm going to go drop a class now!

Wed, 01 Sep 2004 17:35:13 GMT

Ok so I got an application at Bath & Body Works yesterday and I'm really excited about it. It will be packed come Thanksgiving time. That's the prime time to go shopping for christmas stuff--the day after Thanksgiving. The problem is that I sort of want to quit lifeguarding so I can work this job full time. The other problem is if I quit then people will be mad and think that i am doing them "dirty" for lack of a better way to phrase that. Even if I quit, it wouldn't be till the end of September, so it's not like out of nowhere, but still...

Anyway I just broke up with my boyfriend a couple days ago, and I'm already lonely. I talked to him like three times yesterday. And for some reason I told him that I would come by his house today. I don't know what I'm doing. I miss him, but I know I don't want to get back together with him. Should I just leave him alone?

I thought going to school was going to suck, but it really hasn't. Well everything but my statistics class =( So I got to go now and I'll update later.

HEY EVERYONE

Fri, 27 Aug 2004 00:29:38 GMT

So I really haven't written in awhile and a lot of people have probably taken me off their list of friends, but I guess I'll find out my true friends-whoever kept me on their list.

So I'm kind of in a bad mood, and have been all day. The kind where I've been sick to my stomach, and can't eat anything. Work really blows, and I don't like having to rely on it for living-paying my bills and stuff. Because right now I live paycheck to paycheck. I want a steady job where they dont try to screw you over all the time. AND is as easy as my job now. I know I won't find that, but if anyone has any ideas, bring my way please!

Yay, it's the weekend!

Fri, 23 Apr 2004 15:34:43 GMT

So this weekend should be fun cause I'm going to Illinois to see my cute little cousin make her 1st communion. The only thing that does suck is that I have a 15-page research paper due monday and I haven't really started on it =(.

On a brighter note, it will be the last paper that I have to write for the rest of the year, cause finals are next week..yay! Then it's summer for me starting April 30th!

My Results

Tue, 20 Apr 2004 19:16:32 GMT

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

Fri, 02 Apr 2004 02:40:52 GMT

I've been so scared to talk to anyone lately. I've been avoiding my roommate (sorry Lori). I just can't come to tell her something that I've known for a long time. It's not just her either. I've been avoiding home too. I can't let anyone know about it. I don't want anyone thinking badly of me.

I've known for a month and a half now, and I'm really scared. I never meant for this to happen. Things aren't supposed to end up this way for me. I'm supposed to live life and act my age. This changes everything now and I dont know what to do.

I wish I could go back in time and do things differently. I wish I could just take back everything. I wish I hadn't of gotten pregnant.

You know I'm just kidding and it's April Fools! hahahahahaha. I wonder how many people thought I was being serious. Hope u enjoyed it

Fri, 19 Mar 2004 18:44:26 GMT

I am in such a predicament (sp?). After breaking up with my boyfriend thinking I don't need him and that I need to pursue other guys, I find out he has already moved on ...with a girl I hate. I am confused because I am the one that broke up with him, and I'M crying cause he's with someone else.....

Now this would be simple for some people, cause they would just say "in time, you will get over it." But what other people don't understand is that this same guy used to be my best friend. He was the one I could tell anything to. And now that he's gone and with someone else, I can't call him and just talk, cause he might be out with Her. I can't have him come over and give me a hug when I get in a fight with someone because he might be busy with Her.

If anyone has any advice, just let me know, cause what I think is right to do, is to tell him to not call me. Because when he calls it just makes it worse. I figure if we are that good of friends, then maybe we will continue our relationship later on in life....but not now. Not while it hurts this bad.

HEY EVERYBODY

Tue, 16 Mar 2004 04:03:55 GMT

I haven't written in awhile, but that's because I've been living at my NEW APARTMENT!! YAY!! Ü But that also means I have no internet =(. But anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. Love ya'll

Good Song

Thu, 12 Feb 2004 21:45:08 GMT

I Miss You- Blink 182

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
the shadow in the background of the morgue
the unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
we can live like Jack and Sally if we want
where you can always find me
we'll have Halloween on Christmas
and in the night we'll wish this never ends
we'll wish this never ends

(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
this sick strange darkness
comes creeping on so haunting every time
and as I stared I counted
webs from all the spiders
catching things and eating their insides
like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
will you come home and stop this pain tonight
stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)

Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)

Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)

(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)

I would've put My Immortal because that's an awesome song, but lots of people already have put that

Fri, 06 Feb 2004 03:20:04 GMT

I have two questions for everyone:

If you could have

a fun meaningful life, and die next year...right when the ball drops at 2005
Or

A dull meaningless life, and u would live to be very old

Which one would u pick and why?

ANOTHER ONE

If you could be a

Turned off christian--meaning you were a christian..but didnt believe

Or

Turned on other religion--meaning you would have another religion and beliefs, but u would have to abandon ur other religion

Would u abandon ur current religion, or stay with it?